Keanuthon

This made so much sense at the beginning

Frequently Answered Questions

And their answers.


Are you fucking kidding?

No, we are not kidding. We (and you, if you are lucky enough to attend) will watch all films (including made for TV films and films from Canada) that Keanu Reeves has appeared in, however small the role. We are quite serious. This is no joke. It may have started off as one, but it has become quite a serious matter since then. At least somewhat serious at times.

Why does it have to be Keanu?

Keanu is the most influential, prolific, diverse, and amazing actor of our generation. Need we say more?

Why don’t you do it with another actor, like Kiefer Sutherland?

We’re just not sold that KEANUthon works with a Kiefer. Even that Kiefer from “Brotherhood of Justice.” That Kiefer Sutherland does still not a Keanu make.

How many movies?

The beautiful thing about the ‘Thon is that it is not just movies. It includes all appearances by Keanu on screen. Here is the break down: 45 movies, 9 made for TV movies, 3 TV shows, 3 biographies, and 5 other appearances. 65 screen appearances in all.

That is a lot of movies, isn’t it?

Yes, it is a lot of Keanu appearances. But that is what makes us worthy of the ‘Thon.

How long does this take?

A long time (maybe longer). The first year, we crammed the watching into three days. This past year we have a more relaxed schedule, but also more things to watch (and watching all the nonKeunu parts). We did it in five and a half days.

You’re kidding, right?

Nope. Dead fucking serious. We are very serious type people. I think.

Askance, what does askance mean?

Askance sums up the look we normally get when talking about Keanuthon. Askance means incredulous, taken aback—some assmunch interviewing Keanu looks askance and Keanu points this out by saying, “You’re looking askance.”

What is “The Keanu”?

“The Keanu” is what we called the drink that Keanu orders in “The Night Before.” He sheepishly orders a ginger ale, but then when asked by the bartender “And?”, he decides to add in tequila. We took it just a step further and added in a twist of lime, because really, tequila and ginger ale is pretty bad by itself (“Stay away from ginger ale and tequila; it’s a bitch.”) This year we experimented with different makes of ginger ale (as we did last year, but then we forgot to write it down) and concluded that “Natural Brew Outrageous Ginger Ale” was the best. One can be ordered like this – “Hey! Get me “a” “Keanu.” (the word “the” is not essentially essential nor are the “airquotes”)

When can I see “My Own Private Idaho”?

You’ve got options. You could rent it, but if you are visiting this website – reading the FAA’s, chances are you already own a copy of it. You could watch it right now! Go! If you are wondering when to see it at the ‘Thon – check the schedule.

When do you want to see it?

If you(the royal “you” in the British sense)‘re not happy with where we’ve scheduled a movie. Send us an email with suggestions (much preferrably helpful ones). And we’ll change the schedule to make everybody (almost everyone, at least) happy(ier).

Are they showing “Babes In Toyland”?

Maybe. Is Keanu Reeves in that?

So, your son is in charge of this?

Probably not. Which son?

Do you mean Keanu Reeves?

Which Keanu Reeves do you mean? The other one? No, not him. The Keanu Reeves who was in “Youngblood?”

I have my own copy of “The Matrix” movies. Can I hold my own ‘Thon?

You sure can try, but you will fail miserably. The ‘Thon is much much more than just “The Matrix” movies. In fact, “The Matrix” movies are hardly a part of the ‘Thon at all. For the most part, we don’t really care for “The Matrix” movies so much. There are just so many more much better Keanu movies, and it is a shame that so many people just think that he came to fame because of “The Matrix” movies (or Bill & Ted), when really he has had glory and fame for many years before. That is the reason for the ‘Thon.

I was impotent with fear — dracula