Keanuthon

Keanu has always been a favorite of Jeff and Matt, but Keanuthon has a very specific origin.

On the west coast, early one Sunday morning in 2003 Jeff was inspired to make a call to Matt. On the east coast, Matt answered early in the afternoon (what with the time change and everything). The small talk and banter that makes up all of our lives passed between the two for a couple of minutes.

Matt: (answering phone) Yello.
Jeff: Hey.
M: Hey.
J: What’s up?
M: Nothing. What’s up?
J: Nothing. Going to an A’s game later.
M: Oh. Your team.

This witty interplay continued for a good 5 to 8 seconds more until Jeff thrusted toward the pointed point of his phone call.

J: Dude.
M: What?
J: “Johnny Mnemonic” is on.
M: Cool.
J: on TNT.
M: ooooh. It is so a “new classic” — it’s about time someone besides us realized it.

The “New Classics”

TNT labels movies in its catalogue “New Classics”. In addition to knowing drama and “Law & Order,” they also know “classics.”
And make no mistake, these are not your traditionally thought of “classic” movies. No “Casablanca” or “Citizen Kane” or “The Graduate” or “The Godfather” or “A Night at the Opera.”
No. We won’t be having any of that.

These “Classics”? That’s right. They’re “New”: “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation” or “Deep Blue Sea” or “Two If By Sea” or “Another Stakeout” or “Pet Sematary”
Or.
“Johnny Mnemonic”

The lads had seen this “Mnemonicized” classic (no quotations necessary) in the movie theater (Galleria) and recognized its new classic status immediately after the credits stopped rolling (or at least they recognized it was a “new” movie at the time). Although it had redefined underappreciated in every way possible and was laughed at and reviled whenever and wherever others remembered it (which was infrequently), it held a soft spot (and still does) in the boys’ collectively separated hearts. For so many reasons. This passion illogically sparked an idea in Jeff — an offhand and fairly insane idea, but an idea nonetheless.

J: You know what?
M: Chickenbutt?
J: We should watch all movies Keanu has ever made, in the order he made them.
M: Cool. When?

At this point, Jeff likely realized he had committed himself to something he hadn’t intended. If he would have been talking to a “normal” person, this “normal” person would have laughed off such a goofily insane thought and the conversation would have moved on to other, less exciting, less Keanuthonic topics. Matt didn’t exactly let that happen. He took the idea and, well, took it. And so, more or less, Keanuthon was born. All thanks to “Just Johnny.”