Keanuthon

2:38pm – “Permanent Record”, 1988 Although this is no “The Night Before” – certainly an able replacement. We probably need to delay the drinking of the “Keanu” (more of course on that later). Much different tone than “Night Before” Jeff very pleased Joe Strummer did the music. First movie where Keanu gets the first billing. Definitely falls into the TT category. Last year, when we all saw this together for the 1st time – we were asking “Is this movie about Keanu or the other guy?” Needless to say, we were surprised when the movie took the turn from typical young Keanu “Dream to Believe” whatchamajigger into serious movie. But still a good movie.

We also missed the HMS Pinafore auditions in the high school. We were robbed. This year we robbed it back from those who robbed the GilbertNSullivananiness from us.

2:58pm – M&K have gone on a grocery run (yes we are still attending to our basic needs) and to pick up a video of “The Night Before.” Oh, what if someone else has rented it? Beset with worry until they return.

But comforted by endearing scene of Keanu playing the piano… only made better by a hot chick (apparently his woman, or whatever) coming in and Keanu delivering another Classic Keanu Pick-up Line (CKPL): “You exude sex.” Wow. That’s as good as “We have birth control.” Or maybe even better.

Nobody’s mentioned how the Second Annual Keanuthon started! Once Jeff got here, Matt unveiled our Keanuthon clothes: Keanu T-shirts! Some Dogstar tees and some from a charity T-shirt design website.

Keanu is now throwing the big “Permanent Record” party. His girl is trying to make a veggie tray and he says, “We don’t want vegetables. We want booze.” The movie is about to take a tragic turn…

It appears that Keanu wrote the song “I Ain’t Missing You” as his character in this movie. Strange, I could have sworn that John Waite sang it and it was actually called “Missing You.”

2:35pm – “The Night Before”, 1988 Laissez les bon temps rouller! This is why we ‘Thon! We have been waiting for this movie to come on since 5:10pm last night when I arrived, if not since last year when we watched it.

Jumped the gun on that one. The DVD is screwed up and would not play. So we are moving on to “Permanent Record.” What a sad sad day at the ‘Thon.

1:07pm – “Young Again” aka “Bachelor Kid”, 1986 A Disney flick with Keanu playing the young version of Robert Urich.

“and introducing Keanu Reeves” is the credit that Keanu gets, which is cool, because it means that he should have a larger role. Of course we all know that this really isn’t the introduction of Keanu as we have already watched 10 movies with him in them.

1:21pm – Robert Urich is making his wish to turn into… KEANU! 1:23pm – and here we have Keanu

1:26pm – Oh my God. Keanu dancing and lip-syncing to “Shout”—THIS is why we ‘thon. We also thon to watch him skateboard through a mall…two perfect scenes to include in the video montage. I think there should be more movies where eighties stars, like Robert Urich (who is now dead, so maybe not the best example for present day) for example, get their wish and turn into Keanu. 25 minutes into “Young Again” and we are all impressed. With Keanu, with the dancing, with the music—Jeff says “This has a lot of — this is a good soundtrack.”

Keanu says “I’m independently wealthy,” and the old lady says, “Oh. Did you rob something?” “No, it’s my father’s money. He robbed something.”

Then he gets asked about his parents and says, “That’s impossible, sir. They’re dead.”

This might be Keanu’s only dabbling in the basketball scene. Seems Robert Urich was a big high school star. And it seems that now that he’s Keanu he’s not only a basketball phenom but a star in other departments as well—like the fashion department! Yes, this movie is all about Keanu looking like Keanu but saying things that Robert Urich might say, like “Don’t you guys have any respect for women?” Yeah. I’m sure Robert uses that one all the time.

Pep rally for the basketball team (of which Keanu is the new star) Cut to the band. Clearly an oppurtunity for (in the special edition DVD) putting in some Dogstar or Becky (band) footage.

1:50 – Keanu dunks! (another dunk) He is so a 2 sport star. (and another dunk)

and there is still anger regarding the HORRIBLE “unauthorized” DVD biography we watched last night. Too many reasons to mention. Too much grumpiness to ever let fly. I think we are supposed to let those deep horrible wounds (like that DVD) fester. Fester on dude.

As the back of the video says “The mix-ups are many and humorous as young Michael (K.C Reeves) woos the daughter and pines for the mother” – kinda weird. Don’t get me wrong – this is good, but kinda weird as he is trying to score both the mom and the daughter. I know he’s got identity issues what with being an adult or a kid or both, but he goes on a date with the whole family; odd message for kids (this is a Disney movie) or is it me?

This movie actually had a lot of potential, but then Keanu turned from trying to get the girl to trying to get the mother, at the expense of pissing off the girl. Now why can’t Disney just make this a cute man-wishes-to-be-young-gets-his-wish-falls-for-the-girl-gets-the-girl-turns-old-again-and-then-has-to-explain-to-the-girl-why-he-is-all-of-a-sudden-old-again movie instead of a creepy man-wishes-to-be-young-gets-his-wish-tries-to-convince-the-mother-who-is-his-girlfriend-from-high-school-that-he-as-an-adult-is-a-good-person-and-that-they-should-be-together-once-he-turns-old-again-even-though-he-will-then-have-to-explain-why-he-is-older-now-and-is-not-dead-even-though-that-is-the-story-that-he-told-her-when-he-was-young movie?

“This sucks because it is supposed to be Robert Urich happy to be Keanu, but it really is Keanu trying to be Robert Urich.” – Carla

Honestly though, the sincerity and beauty of Keanu’s performance is really selling me on this movie.

2:30pm – “Yeah, I’m crazy, but I’m harmless.”

end of the movie – Keanu has been turned into Robert Urich and now Robert Urich is trying to act like Keanu

In the beginning credits, Keanu was listed as “Keanu Reeves,” but at the end he is listed as “KC Reeves.” Strange, isn’t it?

11:32am – “Under the Influence”, 1986 Another TV movie, but this time with Andy Griffith. We are watching a version with Korean subtitles, which is interesting, because some of the “subtitles” are actuallly on the side of the screen. That would make them “sidetitles” then, eh? Apparently this was the highest quality version Matt could find; the others had Portuguese subtitles, but the quality was much poorer.

Yet another movie with Keanu wearing a clip earring in his left ear.

“Screaming for heat? Send over Keanu.” – Carla

Possibly the first movie where Keanu is not playing a high schooler; he is finally coming of age.

“These movies really are pretty hard to figure out” Jeff “That’s because they are confusing” Matt “That’s because we only watch the 10 minutes Keanu is in & they’re in Korean” Carla

There is a lot of subtext in this movie. Or so I think. It might be there is a lot of text.

This is really pretty good.

Then we saw what we shall forever refer to as the “Hungry Heart” scene.

12:27pm (Day II) – This started out with not enough Keanu, but then there are lots of fabulous fabulous scenes with him and Andy Griffith. This seems to be a movie with a real “message”—which seems to mean that it’s kind of a downer.

It also features another aspect of the sort of prototypical early Keanu character, which is that he’s kind of a rebellious teenager (or, I guess he’s post-teen here) but trying to do good, but nobody believes this good side of him. Both in “One Step Away” (a real high point) and in this, there’s some line about people assuming the worse about him.

We are all, as we are wont to do, wondering why there isn’t more Keanu in this. Matt says all of the movies in Keanuthon could use a little more Keanu and Jeff adds (such wisdom!) that all movies could use a little more Keanu.

‘Thon idea: making a video montage of all the scenes with music, like the amazingly amazing “Hungry Heart” scene earlier.

Kind of a downer doesn’t really get into this film – but it is coming around with an uplifting message & whatnot.

There is not much Keanu in this movie (is there ever enough Keanu in any movie? a thought to ponder for later on when it is late at night and we are watching “Hangin’ In” for a third time). The scenes that Keanu is in though, he does a fine job of acting; lots of emotion; lots of feeling; lots of well, acting. This one will hopefully be over soon. I’m going into a deep depression and considering giving up alcohol. Lord, help me before I get to that point.

12:55pm – We see the first on screen Keanu tears. Matt breaks out in tears of his own: the first since “Dream To Believe,” a movie that touched Matt deeper than any man ever could. Except maybe Jeff or DJ, of course.

That one ended on quite a downer (as if the rest of the movie was uplifting). Turns out the comedian brother was supposed to be the “hero” of the movie; in fact we see the whole movie through his eyes. The movie would probably be bearable if this were portrayed through Keanu’s eyes.

9:57am – “Brotherhood of Justice”, 1986 According to the filmography in the special features, Keanu was in a movie called “The Prodigal” in 1984. We have no record of this, and I will now look into this online.

I am a bit hesitant about my rating of “Dream to Believe”. I enjoyed it a bit, but probably not as much as the sentimentality that I hold for “River’s Edge”. I feel like I might need to give “River’s Edge” a higher rating. I’ll have to go back at the end and readjust my ratings.

This movie really has a message. Just haven’t yet figured it out.

“What’s the matter with you? You see a couple of chicanos and you think they’re guilty.”

Must be the message that chicanos are not always guilty even if they are handcuffed in the back of a cop car.

There have been four movies made titled “The Prodigal”, according to IMDB. None of them has Keanu in it, but most likely the one he did was the 1983 TV movie produced in Canada. I’m sure Matt will look into that one soon.

We just decided that the message is “vigilantes are good, to a point”. This was after trying to figure out whether the movie is portraying vigilantes as good or bad. I suggested they were good at the beginning and then bad at the end, when they get out of hand. Thus the message “vigilantes are good, to a point.”

When the kids put on masks during their first vigilante attack, a couple of them are wearing ex-president masks: Nixon and LBJ. The one wearing the Nixon mask even does the “I am not a crook” double-peace sign thing. This of course all foreshadows one of the all-time classic Keanu movies: “Point Break”. Amazing the links between all of Keanu’s movies.

After their first attack, one of the “brothers” hands Keanu a note saying “We’re heroes. Let’s do it again.” To which Keanu responds, “I plan on going to Harvard next year, not Lebanon.” Now the coincidental thing here is that Keanu was born in Lebanon. Sometimes his movies just hit you on so many levels, it is unbelievable. Which levels those are – we usually have no idea.

We also get our first taste of Keanu the QB. In between, of course, of watching 23 year-olds playing teeanage vigilantes. And a ripoff of “Every Breath You Take” from the Police (in poem form only).

It is a great big brotherhood of justice. A not so benevolent brotherhood of justice. Your lifelong membership is free. In the great big brotherhood of justice. Making a list. Checking it twice. Going to find out who are teenage vigilantes exerting their own moral code through a series of prgressively more offensively horrible vigilante action without reason or cause. Vigilantes coming to town.

“I like any girl who can whistle with her fingers.”

This knifing thing. Really creepy. At this point it should be pointed out the creepiness (which we have noted in the movies) is in no way Keanu’s fault. Keanu is in fact the good guy of the bunch.

This movie “jumped the shark” when they decide to “hit” Pasty Kraznic, a geeky stage hand who rats on everyone and somehow has enough geek appeal to get all the girls. This movie makes no sense at all anymore.

Kiefer’s hair style needs to be mentioned right now. It is a beautiful boufont ‘do that we will probably see in many more Kiefer movies to come.

10:50 – As a “girl” I just have to comment a little more on Kiefer’s hair, namely to say that he has the hair I always wanted in high school. Parted on the side, big bangs, perfectly feathered… too bad I didn’t have Kiefer’s stylist at the time… of course, when this movie came out, I was NINE. Jeez, saying that makes Keanu seem old. I like to think of him as ageless, myself.

Oh my gosh! One of the Brotherhood just told another, “Vaya con Dios”! Another eerie Point Break parallel (and then there’s someone actually calling him “Quarterback”). And we haven’t mentioned the fact that Lori Laughlin is in this. Lori, of course, from the classic “The Night Before.”

Brotherhood of Justice is looking like the first movie Keanu’s in where the offensive racial/etc. stereotype is proved wrong.

“I don’t give a DAMN what you say.”

Keanu is looking a little made up in this movie. Nicely pencilled eyebrows, a little blush on the cheeks, some lip gloss… Matt thinks maybe they’re trying to make him look older, because he looks so young.

Okay. Nobody to get defensive to, but have to say that all those people who say Keanu can’t act don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Here he’s acting the pants off a young Billy Zane.

We’re discussing the website…one idea is to have different things to click on at the beginning, like “over 18” and “under 18” or “Keanu makes me hot and wet” and “I’m just here to mock”—but no matter what you click it goes to the same spot. The only potential we have for “adult” material would be our idea of pictures of the founders of Keanuthon, naked, with his movies covering the hot and wet parts.

“This made so much sense in the beginning”—the ultimate quote about Keanuthon.

Billy Zane is such a motherfucker. -JK

It’s surprising how many of Keanu’s early roles have him as the one guy trying to do good going against other fuck-ups. I’d like to think they offered him roles as just another one of the fuck-ups and Keanu said, “What if my character was nicer, though? And maybe not as racist as those other bastards?”

Apparently, BOJ (not, of course BJ) is all about going after other kids “wheels” At the end of the movie – the BOJ (excluding Keanu) “wire” Kiefer’s car with a bomb. Keanu rushes to save the Kief (and does) and successfully disarm “creepy (which does seem to be our favorite word for describing all the “creeps”) Billy Zane’s” bomb. Which pushes us forward 8 years to another Keanu role. Jack Traven!

Our epilogue features black and white grainy stills of the main characters in different states of arrest. The ones who had taken the vigilante business too far (such as Billy Zane) were cuffed and being put in the backseat of cop cars, whereas Keanu was just sitting in the backseat of a cop car, uncuffed, but clearly in mental anguish about what has transpired over the last few months of vigilante life. But perhaps not so anguished about those first few months. Up to a point. Up to a point.

8:18 – “Flying” AKA “Dream to Believe” begins “Flying high! Got my feet on the ground…” Bold statement of the day – Keanu is extra cute in this.

8:26 – Jeff begins to ‘Thon for the day Olivia D’abo – “dressed like one of those damn lesbos” according to the sweatshop pwner who looks a lot like the guy who played the creepy landlord in “One Step Away”

Keanu is not on screen, thusly we feel free to discuss the nunchuck kid in “River’s Edge”

This movie seems to further the notion all “ethnic people” are friends with each other. And today is Creamed Salmon day.

Apparently when Beth woke up in the middle of the night she watched part of “River’s Edge” in order to “stay true to the ‘Thon”.

Keanu goes into a disillusioned carnival barker episode trying to impress his girl with metaphors of the milk can game at a carnival as filled with lies just like everything else. Right after, Keanu says, “I’m not pretty enough for you…. you’re fucking right it is.”

Hot dog topping contest: Keanu wins, loading on ketchup, relish and onions. He forgot the mustard, the world’s most perfect condiment.

9:30 – Nip.

DVD box has 1988 as the production/release date (and says the rating is PG) – thinking we need to figure out the exact dates somehow. Having pooled our collective brain, we have no idea what the message of this movie. Does their have to be a message? or is it “Just getting his ass across the Falls” ?

9:48 – quoth the Jeff “It is not necessarily done just because it is past the day. And you can quote me on that.”

6:35am – “Babes In Toyland” – Jeff seemed to doubt we’d be awake now, but here BLW & I are watching those lovable “Babes” in Cincinnati. “Stop the world – I want to get on” Advice from the TV weatherman is to “just stay home” – and watch Keanu? Feel like Bert could really use that invisible power power at times during this movie. Have read people loathe the “Cincinnati” song, but I (for one) am encahanted by it. Plus, you just don’t see a lot of people singing DURING a “car accident” in which someone (Drew) falls out of the car, only to slide down the hill in a sled… then falls into a cake… from the sky. If only we could buy the soundtrack.

6:52 – Odd.

7:02 – Barnaby’s costume kind of seems Lemony Snicketish – could this movie be called “an unfortunate event?” Regardless of what one does think of this movie – you do get to see (and hear) Keanu sing. “Babes in Toyland: Drew saves the day, but all that means is everyone gets to go back to Cincinnati – maybe living in a shoe would be a better option” would be an alternate title option.

7:15 – Appearance of the “Toymaster” which reminds one of “Matrix: Regurgitated.” the “Toymaster” also seems to have made a lot of toys for children involving candles; I was unaware candles were child-friendly. Collecting the evil of the world is either some “Green Mile” thing or the John Carpenter classic in which the plot revolves around “a liquid canister of Satan”

At times this movie is a little creepy at times, but in a different way – thusly disqualifying it for true “back-to-back-to-back creep”

7:26 – Scowling Keanu, which is not, incidently, as good as “Singing Keanu” – maybe one isn’t better than the other, they might just be different – like comparing “Act of Vengence” and “Letting Go;” both, one could argue, are fine films (although “Act” is creepier), but they just don’t have enough Keanu And why did they not make any cars to fit more than one person?

7:37 – It is officially official – this toymaster is exactly the same as as the “Regurgitated” keymaster guy (or whatever he was called – we’ll call him “older Asian guy in peril with wisdom to offer to those ‘foolish needing help white folks’”) – he keeps talking about good & evil There is a person in that tiny chicken costume. Which they just locked in a trunk.

Very relieving to be watching a feature length movie where Keanu has some actual screen time. Finding this very enjoyable. Must be the “Cincinnati” song reprise.

‘Thonning alone does have downpoints. No one make comments to (excluding, right now at least, those lovable “Babes”). No real bathroom oppurtunities. I digress, but had to mention the chase scene. Unleash the bottle of evil! Unleash the bottle of evil!

8:07 – This movie has what might be described as a “Forest bad, toys good” message

12:16am – “River’s Edge”, 1986 We pretty much just started this movie now so we could fall asleep. Matt is determined to wake up and start watching “Babes in Toyland” and “Dream to Believe” at 7 in the morning.

“Act of Vengence” followed by “River’s Edge” is “back-to-back creep.”

12:24am. We see Keanu in one of his earliest “troubled teen” roles.

2:20am. Done with that one.

10:41pm – “Act of Vengence”, 1986 The box says this was actually released in 1985, so we got the order slightly wrong this year. We will get to watch this one right after “Letting Go” next year. Can’t wait.

What will our mixed order be? (next year) Chronological (by year set) Alphabetical By ranking By hair By type of character category according to that shitty, exploitative DVD “biography” we will never watch again (e.g. “Troubled Teen” or “Really Troubled Teen” or “Goofy Troubled Teen”) By genre By character name Your momma Year actually filmed (Keanu’s part at least)

Scrod content. Color scheme. Ethnic menus.

Charles Bronson is pretty good in this movie – but it sure could use some more Keanu. Feel like he could play some sort of dual role. In addition to being the serial killer guy he could also play a young miner (not minor) who dies in an early accident – this would give his role in the movie more meaning (and more screen time for Keanu) – perhaps we could find footage from other movies which could be used for this role and edit it in (for an “Act of Vengence: Special Director’s Cut Type Thing” DVD or Laserdisc).

“How do you justify that combover and that mustache?”

God, I like your vest. Got to look your best. Got it in your breast.

Charles Bronson seems to be on a mashed potatoes out of a box diet and his name is Jock. Down by the riverside. “Unless she has a hole in her hip” “He has a fridge full of guns” Black market teapot trade. And a gun.

At this point I am really looking forward to (among others) “Brotherhood of Justice” Iowa Caucus Canadian Province (Drawin’ in the People”) Night

Next year: Replacementathon! 6 days just Replacemenathoning These varying accents seem to belie any kind of time and setting – sure the Charles Bronson character should have an accent, but everyone else has southern/northern/eggnog/whatthefuckever accents Maybe this is just set in “America” – but maybe the accent problem is more a question of us paying attention.

11:59 – Keanu’s onscreen appearance More backstory would be great

This movie is kinda perverse & creepy.

and “Act Of Vengence” stops for no man and gets even creepier “Keannu Reeves”

9:49pm – “Keanu Reeves: Journey to Success” This is an unofficial biography of Keanu that came out around the time of “The Matrix” movies. I did learn that Keanu has dyslexia. We just decided that we will not be watching this piece of crap next year.

Referring to the three members of Dogstar, Carla says, “That one, he’s kinda cute.” Matt: “The tall one?” Jeff: “Keanu”.

Keanu is one of the nicest guys in the world. In this documentary, he always says nice things about the directors and writers and other actors. Even for movies that suck hard.

Cheerful fans.