Keanuthon

6:51pm. All this potential. All this crappy movie.

It started as a romantic comedy, but somehow went astray. John is troubled but I think he is really starting to open up. I mean he went to hell for her. I think you have to like somebody a lot to do that. “Dinner and an Exorcism” was the working title, but the decided to go with the Constantine one.

So here’s the thing about this story: I don’t get it. There is enough rigamarole about the blood of Christ and the son of Christ and the Spear of Destiny and all that, and then they throw in this stuff about twins, which I don’t understand, and there is this dude named “Midnight” which I can only assume is because he is dark-skinned, and he has a electric chair that was used at Tsing Tsing and the chair can get you into hell for a little bit, but only if you kill yourself on the chair with your feet in water, and afterwards you end up very hungry. Uh, what a nightmare of a plot. How am I supposed to keep this all straight?

Hypothetical: Who would you let beat your ass into pulp: wet-clothed Rachel Weisz from “Chain Reaction” or wet-clothed Racel Weisz from “Constantine”?

Hypothetical: You can marry Rachel Weisz, but every time you “make it” with her, she changes into a demon-possessed “second-coming” impregnated freak. Do you do it?

Submitted for all of our approval: Today is the worst day of programming of the ‘Thon ever. Still a great day, but not a day of our favorite movies.

Jen maintains, to the end, this is a romantic comedy; others say she may just be realizing and processing in her own manner how laughably bad it is. The third camp says it falls in between; right where the mediocre horse rides into the village of Crappytown (Crappy’s home) where that horse may need to be fed and watered until there is a sequel which will almost certainly hold as much promise – but will let us down.