Keanuthon

7:18pm – “Dangerous Liasions”, 1989 Keanu gets billing between Swoosie Kurtz & Mildred Natwick

This movie could be called “Dangerous Glenn Close’s pushed together breasts” They went with another title, but we are all prety sure ours would have sold as many (if not more) tickets.

“Fuck Moosewood’s! I’m Jeff!”

We are now arguing over the hotness levels of the women in this movie. I contend that Michelle Pfeiffer is a major hotty despite lack of breasts, but Carla and Matt agree that she is the fourth hotest babe in the movie, and that is behind Keanu.

We have lost a bit of focus now after “The Night Before.” We have been doing some cooking and have had to make two runs out for groceries. While our concentration is breaking down a bit, we are keeping to our policy of always having someone watch the movies as they play. Right now I am in charge of watching, logging, taking down quotes (though I doubt there will be many) and watching for a good photo op with Keanu. It is tough working this shifts during the ‘Thon. It is kind of like the graveyard shift at a graveyard, or worse, as a desk guard at an old folks’ home.

The currently planned schedule for tonight: Life Under Water, I Love You To Death, Parenthood. This should be a pretty damn good night. “I Love You To Death” is a cute little movie about a filandering Italian man who owns a pizza parlor with his wife. “Parenthood” is the classic 1989 family comedy with Steve Martin, and “Life Under Water” is a new addition to this year’s ‘Thon. It stars Sarah Jessica Parker alongside Keanu. Looking forward to this one.

Blood work. Blood work.

This movie is kinda crap. The people all seem to just stare oddly at each other. You know what would make this movie great? If everyone stared at Keanu. It could be called “Dangerous Keanu.”

Malkovich promises to be “merciless.” I have no response to that.

“It’s beyond my control.” – Some other crappy actor says that, not Keanu. Not really sure who. Don’t really care.

“Do as I say!” – Keanu declares after stabbing Malkovich in the stomach and then yelling for someone to get a surgeon.

I think if we were viewing this in a non’Thonic context it might not be bad, but it is just not a Keanu movie.