Keanuthon

9:45pm. “The Gift”. It is quite a movie. And it is only appropriate that during the watching of “The Gift” we imbibe the contents of the gift: a magnum of Anchor Brewery Christmas Brew. A magnum, I tell you, a magnum.

We are discussing the levels of twitchiness of Giovanni Ribisi and Vincent D’Onofrio. Matt and I agree Vincent is the one and only original “twitchy,” but Falconé believes Gio is “the twitcher.”

Apparently this Falzoné character likes to give people hypotheticals. His most famous being: would you rather smash your best friend’s face to pieces with a nail-infested 2×4 or have that best friend’s family members tortured and killed. What kind of sick person is this Falzoné guy?

Falzone is now typing: I don’t know how to add the accent to the “e” on my name, but I appreciate the other White Jeff’s thoughtful addition. At first I wanted to retract the notion that the 2×4 is the “most famous” because I felt certain that at some point in the last 16 years it would have been surpassed…hmmm…however….it’s status as my first formal hypothetical that started a stir in Jefferson City Highschool has, unfortunately, given it the “most famous” disignation.

I prefer the “french fry”, but it’s less well known…Caitlin doesn’t like small things.

I like Jeff, Matt’s friend from the City. A few moments ago after I said I was pretending to be a highschool student, Jeff said he would “have me”. I’m not sure what he meant by that, but I think he meant that if I was in highschool he would have sex with me. I wonder what would happen if I lost a little bit of weight and shaved? I’m uncertain as to how critical it is that I be under 18 to sleep with Jeff. Maybe Matt can help me with this.

My friend Connor- King of Hypotheticals and Lord of Analogies- often can’t get over how off-putting it can be to be watching a film and then, all of a sudden, remember that you are watching millionaires pretend to be poor AND that they are getting paid millions of dollars to pretend to suffer like that. But he likes those movies, so he’s not being a prick. I thought of that when I watched the preview for the last Oliver Stone movie in which Nickalous cage played the fireman who got stuck in 9/11.

Matt has gained massive friendship points for co-creating Keanuthon with Jeff. Ok, I may have violated some Klog rules by not sticking to the correct topic, but considering the fact that I have been here over an hour and there hasn’t been more than 23 seconds of sustained Keanunea watching, I doubt I’ve broken a rule.

Ghigs wants to participate. So does Nej. I wish Travis wasn’t a dick about it and Shaun would be perfect.

I’m eatin’ cheese. I have important things to attend to. Dangling.

Muffins.