Keanuthon

9:24am – “The Matrix”, 1999

The second movie in a row when Keanu must question who he is and why shit is happening to him. In both, he chooses free will. “I choose free will” by Rush. Rush is the first word (and actually the second word as well) in the name of the only music video that Keanu was in. If that isn’t fate, what is? Maybe fate is that we are watching close to 10 hours of The Matrix today. Or maybe that is purgatory. What did I do so wrong? And at such a tender young age too?

Keanu’s character “Mr. Anderson” is a sharp contrast to his character “Neo” because as Mr. Anderson he is wobbly (dare I saw twitchy) and afraid; he cannot even climb the scaffolding to get to the roof of his office building. And yet, as Neo, he can do anything.

The hacker at the beginning of the movie who buys some kind of virus from Neo calls him his own personal Jesus Christ. This reminds me of many things, but mainly “My Own Private Idaho.”

Why did people watch this movie thousands of repeat times in the theaters, and yet so few even saw “Johnny Mnemonic” once?

I just love that “Switch”

Keanu is about to take some pill or something. And Laurence is telling him that no one can just tell him what the Matrix is. That’s for damn sure. That’s ‘cause nobody will ever tell the man the truth. I tell him the truth: the Matrix is a big pile o’ horse poo, Keanu! Take the blue pill, take the blue pill! blue pill: story ends, you wake up in your own bed red pill: you get to find out how deep the hole goes, as our friend Paula says, so deep, so deep, so deep inside

I guess it’s kind of nice to watch and think about the bags o’ cash that Keanu took away from making these three trainwrecks, cash that he did nice things with, like give nice presents to the stuntguys, donate to nice charities, and buy a nice house for his nice sister. Oh. Wait. As I learned from MY ASS (aka “Journey to Success”), he doesn’t OWN any houses. My dumb.

Laurence likes to talk about ironic things are, usually using examples that actually aren’t really ironic, and thusly he is reminding me of Alannis Morisette

Woah, so wait, like, could we be inside the, like, Matrix right NOW, and actually watching the Matrix, and if we are inside the Matrix why have Mr. Smith and Co. put out a movie to tell us about it. I’m going to go find a red pill to take and see if I can’t find out how deep the hole is…

I haven’t broken any laws. Well, maybe the laws of nature.

Wait. Was that some sort of ironic metaphor?

The one thing the killing machine was designed to do is make peace & harmony. Nothing can kill a show like too much exposition. Love the “Inspector Gadget” Music (DoooDoooDooooDoooo! Inspector Gadget!), then again, I do love that Gadget. Would have been a great concept for the next 2 movies (or even this one), Neo could have the “GoGoGadget Power” (you know, “GoGoGadget superlegthings!), of course, WB would have to get the rights from Disney, but think of all the additional merchandising options. Plus you could market these incredibly violent movies to kids! Imagine the “GoGoGadget RipOutAgentSmith’sHeart” Happy Meal!

Much talk of hotness (and of course “Inspector Gadget”)

Don’t you think the Wachowski brothers could have come up with a better (or at least more original) name that Zion? I feel like that one is already taken and is steeped in Judeo-Christian beliefs. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Judeo-Christian beliefs, but I feel like the brothers W could have really made a killing on these movies if they had not pinned themselves into a western belief system, thus alientaing countries like Egypt who put a ban on the trilogy.

Proximity warning! Something must be proximitous!

“You think these will taste good?”

He just reprogrammed the fucking matrix!

Oh my god, Keanu is the one! Na-uh, nuh