Keanuthon

8:01pm – “Youngblood”, 1986 Rob Lowe’s last name actually is Youngblood. Matt was under the impression that Youngblood was just a metaphor, but it turns out that his character is of Native American descent. Carla deemed Rob a hot young gay guy.

“Dude, it’s you versus the ‘Thon. Don’t give in now, ‘k”

8:45pm – Carla says, “This is a real low point. Even crap like ‘Babes in Toyland’ is better than this… It lowers the bar for a style of movie that is already low: the crappy teen romance sport movie, which is even lower than crappy teen movie”

8:47pm – Jeff says, “I’ve got a headache just watching this movie”

New rating system (Matt’s idea while showering during “Youngblood”). We keep on writing our own synopses, but we also compose a Zagat-style composite of the three reviews with selected quotes fit in. For example: “Youngblood had moments of ‘sheer ineptitude’ followed by moments of ‘even more sheer ineptitude’”.

Mom says referring to Youngblood’s brother, “It’s the guy who gave him (Rob Lowe ‘Youngblood’) his first transexual experience.”

Rob Lowe is the worst farmer, in the history of the world.

9:11 – Hopped out of the shower feeling refreshed & (dare I say) alive, ready to go ‘thon once again – then I remembered I was returning to that modern American classic “Youngblood.”

Carla has decided this movie is all about Rob questioning his sexual identity (which we have identified as, of course, transgender). And this is definitely no “Cutting Edge.” And where is Keanu during all this – why weren’t they trying to appeal to their Franco-Canadian audience?

9:25 – Damn. “Youngblood” is still on. Now we (and by “we” I mean Matt) have decided that Rob’s sexual orientation is leaning towards asexual. (To diverge from earlier rating of transgendered.) Beth busy wondering “whatever happened to Keanu”—a question which is on everyone’s mind.

Based on the crappy, crappy crappiness of this movie, we have decided to change the order of what we watch next: “Act of Vengeance” was supposed to be next on the list, but “Keanu Reeves: Journey to Success” has been moved up. We are all Keanu-STARVED—have been for the last hour of this movie.

Jeff and Matt are discussing Keanu decoder rings, and we have all just had a moment of silence for the Gipper, who kicked it a week ago (or ten years ago—there are differing opinions on this matter). This was a moment of silence out of mourning but reminded us of the earlier moment of silence we had out of gratitude and happiness. Namely, a moment of silence to celebrate the fact that Keanu is not in “Speed II.” A huge blessing—not having to watch Speed II during Keanuthon is one of the things that make the ‘thon great—although all agree that Keanu would have made that “Speed II” a lot better. No offense, Jason Patric.

Keanu seems to be AWOL after the tequila-drinking scene in this movie. Oh yes, “Youngblood” has a tequila-drinking scene. It also has a great built-in sequel (prequel?) title: “Youngblood II: Younger and Bloodier.” Matt is also suggesting “Youngblood II: the Gayblade.”

The number of boys blowing kisses at each other (plus Patrick Swayze actually kissing one of the referees) is only confirming the gayness of this movie. Also the line “I’ll shove this stick right up your ass.”

9:46 – Oh. Rob.