Keanuthon

10:57am. Matt is trying a new torture technique that might be approved by the Genevais people. The technique involves having me watch some of the worst movies ever made. In fact, the only redeeming quality to the movies is that Keanu is in them. But still they are torture. I’ll tell him where Osama is. I’ll let him know how the Iranians’ nuclear program is progressing. I’ll spill my guts about Kim Jong Il’s plans for world domination. Anything, just please make this stop… and it has only just begun.

I must admit, I was distracted a bit from the Dracül. I found a video of an Australian researcher playing air guitar with a t-shirt he developed that translates the wearer’s arm movements into guitar sounds. It looked, well, fun?

Ah, Tom Waits. Need I say more?

I am a prisoner, trapped by the movie and by Mavis (the one-eyed pug on my lap). I need some way to break free. I want to break free. I’ve got to break free. Break free from your lies, you’re so self satisfied I don’t need you.

What is it with bigger-than-life creepy moves? And why does Keanu agree to be in them? I know he has more sense than this. He just loves to work. He’s a work-a-holic. He’ll do anything. We’ve got proof.

Gary Oldman gets so grumpy when you cut off the bloodvomitters head.

And now Dusty is questioning the Jackman. Or is it the other way around?

“I was impotent with fear” – Dusty

The “Pure Adrenaline” edition of “Point Break” just arrived, and I have been obsessively consuming the extra material partially as a way to distract myself from the movie and partially to, well, I really don’t like this movie. What I found was some interesting tidbits of information:

• Matthew Broderick and Charlie Sheen were originally to play the Johnny Utah and Bodhi roles.
• The movie was originally titled “Johnny Utah”
• The name was then changed to “Riders On The Storm”
• A wave breaks when it reaches a water depth of 1.25 times its height
• Patrick Swayze has broken an ankle, four ribs, and all ten fingers (not during the filming of “Point Break”, but in general, though he did break four ribs during the filming)
• Swayze and Reeves were taught to surf by Dennis Jarvis on the beaches of Kauai, which Keanu says was “a heavy place to start.”

Matt has shot down my brilliant concept of an Uma Thermathon, saying he would have to gauge his eyes out. Bah! I don’t get it.

I don’t know what exactly I have done to deserve the attention this little dog is giving me. My only guess is that she must be attracted to my scent — my “I haven’t changed clothes in the last three days” scent.

I’m starting to believe we need to turn off this movie — it is upsetting Mavis. And frankly, it is upsetting me, too. I can’t be happy unless Mavis is happy. How have our souls become so intwixed?