Keanuthon

9:22am. Hearing the the beck, the call of the Falzoné the ‘Thon sleeps no more. Thanks for the beck – the ‘thon really needed it.

Jeff called this both horrible and really, really horrible.
That seems like a fair estimate – and I am only 2 minutes into it.

This was a restart because I was cruel enough to encourage Jeff & Caitlin to begin it even though I was asleep.

I am torn.
I am concerned if I klog too much I will miss Keanu/Dogstar. But if I klog/think about other stuff/wake up Jeff and make him watch, I will not have to watch the movie. I am attempting not to prejudge, but it does seem to have a very low Keanu quotient, if you get my drift.

I am assuming it is the band in the movie, unless he is playing a character named “Dogstar,” which would be… weird. Although he was fabulous as fan fave Ortiz the Dogboy.

Although this should be quirky and funny (I think), instead it feels like this movie is boring a hole into my head. I am trying not to take this personally, but it is getting a wee bit difficult.

“Maybe I should set myself on fire,” Ellie says. She took the words right out of my brain – now I sense someone else knows how this movie is making me feel.

Here it is. The appearance. Actual “dialogue” was exchanged. Almost enough to redeem the movie. And they are talking about Keanu. Almost enough to redeem the movie. Until she ran away after doing a bad spit take.

Goateed Chevy Chase is attempting to make the pain go away.

I think we could make a better movie carting around my laptop and a webcam. At least the plot could be more interesting, and the cinematography would be roughly equal. I imagine we could win some points with our novel approach to film making (whatever that might be).

They say her name an awful lot in this movie: “Ellie Parker” “Ellie Parker”. I think it is so you remember the name so that when you go to the video store you can ask for it by name… to be removed from existence.

Ellie talks about being sad and angry and like she wants to die — I can only imagine she is talking about the feeling she gets when she watches her own movie.

Ellie just had her first sexually encounter with a gay man. It was romantic.

There is a one-eyed pug named Mavis snoring as she sleeps on my lap. Occassionally she wakes up and barks at Ellie Parker. She’s a smart dog.

This movie makes me feel like I vommitted — not like I have to vommit, but like I already have.

I curse at the internet for its accuracy. If only IMDB had left this movie off of the list of movies Keanu has been in. Why, why, why must it be such a complete list? Curses.