Keanuthon

8:06pm – “Chain Reaction,” 1996

8:40 – We are finally done (it took us 40 minutes??) eating our dinner, yummy Thai food that Jeff and I sacrificed watching “The Last Time I Committed Suicide” to go and get.

Chain Reaction has lots of big names in it—Morgan Freeman, Mr. Cusack (John and Joan’s dad), Rachel Weisz, Brian Cox, and Fred Ward! who was in Prince of Pennsylvania with him and is an all-around Keanuthon hero. But even with all these big-league Keanuthon folks, it never really got much publicity when it came out.

My hands are just so wet. So wet.

CKPL: “And for dinner we have a choice of sardines… or sardines.” CKPL: “Only physicists with hypothermia who are accused of being terrorists.”

“Look! It’s Johnny Mnemonic!” “All Mnemonic, all the time.”

FBI guy just called Keanu’s character, Kasalivich, Kasalibitch. How funny is that? Really funny. OK, not all that funny.

“People want to live in their split-level homes, eat microwave dinners, and watch color TV.” – Morgan Freeman’s speech at the end defending his actions. Reminds me a whole lot of Keanu’s speech at the end of Mnemonic. Not as good. And not delivered by Keanu, but close. Sort of. As if that counts. Ah, it does. The ‘Thon is all about drawing random similarities between random Keanu-events.

Ah, Rachel Weisz. She is a cuty, isn’t she? Why yes, in fact she is. And because of her hotness, she has been taken hostage. Is that fair? No. Why can’t they take someone else hostage? Now Keanu is going to have to shoot her in the leg and take her out of the equation. The last thing the world needs now is a Rachel Weisz with a bum leg. We need all the good leg she has.

Brian Cox runs like Patrick McGoohan.

It really is amazing how Keanu always gets the girl in the end, and like we learned in “Speed” relationships that start during intense experiences never work out well. But I guess that is why we call him Keanu.