Keanuthon

9:27am. Alex Winter is a genius of comic stupidity, and I get to revel in 86 minutes of this glory.

We are glad that William Sadler makes a repeat appearance in the ‘Thon, and that Mr. T makes his inaugural appearance.

Another semi-Bridget Fonda-look-a-like, but only when she is standing in shooting position pointing a gun at the back of Brooke Shields. Only then does she remind me of “La Femme.”

The only thing that can eclipse this classic is the rehearsal version we will watch later today. Or if they made a sequel, “Freaked 2: Ortiz the Dogboy and his Wacky, Yet Impertinent, Yet Flatulent Adventures Into the World Which He May Save, But Only If It Needs Saving” – that title may be too long.

We are discussing revising some of our reviews – they need a tweak or 2 (or 19).

We have decided to tell people we are going to “Get our ‘Freaked’ on,” instead of “Get our freak on” – a phrase we use “too frequently,” in “moderately awkward situations” – this tiny change will “make people more comfortable” and subtly plug Alex Winter’s classic.

Turns out I got to revel in 75 minutes of “Freaked” glory.

Hypothetical: You can hang out with Keanu Reeves anytime you want, but the only reason he likes you is because you are attached Siamese-twin-style to your sorta hot Bridget Fonda-look-a-like sister AND Keanu, while still looking exactly like Keanu normally does is only acting like “Ortiz the DAWGBOY.” Do you?