Keanuthon

7:49pm – “The Gift – a look inside”, 2000

Making of “The Gift” featurette. Searching for more Keanu. Bound to be shorter than the Matrix making of things. Great Keanu interview.

7:59pm – “The Gift,” 2000

If you close one eye you can see better. Can you turn the words on?

“Looks like there’s a storm coming.”

Hot damn, that chick from Dawson’s Creek is a looker. And I quote, “Then you better fuck me fast.” Hot damn. Of course, she is cheating on her fiancee. Bad, bad, Katie Holmes. Naughty.

This movie has a great cast: Cate Blanchet, Greg Kinnear, Katie Holmes, Hilary Swank, Giovannit Ribisi. Oh, and Keanu Reeves. Man, someone should do some kind of festival to honor Keanu. Maybe call it the “Keanuthon.” Nah, that’s a bad idea.

Lumbergh from “Office Space” is the guy who Katie Holmes was cheating with. Lumbergh fucked her!

Another movie with Keanu as a creepy bad guy. I can’t take too much more of this. Sure, I appreciate the diversity of his acting, but can’t we just get a movie with him as a sport hero, a comeback kid, an underdog? Ah, yes, we can. Soon, “The Replacements” will be shown. Soon, my son, soon.

Second movie in a row when people are burned to death. We are on quite the streak of disturbing movies, aren’t we?

Greg Kinnear playing a creepy (how about spooky, aren’t we sick of the word creepy yet?) school principal (princiPAL, cause he’s your friend) who kills his fiancee and tries to kill Cate Blanchet. Almost as believable as Greg Kinnear playing a gay man who paints Jack Nicholson’s portrait naked.

Fairly certain we are thoroughly exhausted from “the longest day in the history of the world” aka “The Matrix day” Definitely need to change the schedule somehow next year, not sure we would be able to survive it again.