Keanuthon

6:13pm – “The Watcher,” 2000

Just pulling a quick relief shift for Matt as he tends to the laundry. Carla and I have been slaving away in the kitchen as Matt just sat on his lazy bum watching movies. It is about time he contributed a bit to the housework.

Keanu as the bad guy. Have to hark back to “I Love You to Death” to find him in such in a role. This is definitel a much spookier role for him (out and out baddie, as opposed to dupety dope). Rivaled in the spookier category by James Spader (who is inherently slimy, but a “good guy,” playing the Javert role). The boys here like James Spader a lot (must like their boys a little creepy, but not in that Dennis Hopper way), whereas the girl here is a decided non-fan (but hopefully Keanu’s presence will make up for it).

Much excitement regarding Marisa Tomei’s presence, too bad she is more or less wasted in this as the “girl in peril.”

You have to hold the bottle upside down, but Spader is oblivious to injecting himself with air – it seems to help him, so I guess I have to support in him in his choices.

Apparently Keanu did this movie as a favor to a friend of his, then was less than proud of the finished product or his choice or something. Keanu refused to publicize it and the movie (despite coming soon after The Matrix insanity, when even Carla’s Ass Inc. was cashing in on the Neosanity) was dumped into theatres with less than no fanfare.

I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost. ‘Perp.

Arguably a perfect role for Spader, because he is so freakity freakily slimy in this (again, in a good way) in a creepy role (written that way and in a good way, yet again). Slimily perfect in that James Spader way.

It is like cutting hair with these chives.

Can we just not do this right now mom, I’m in the middle of a movie. We’re in a movie!

6:57 – Musical montage moment (but without the music)

Chances are pretty high he is watching us right now, his name is “the watcher” in all those human languages, just like the ones the bible was written in Shoot the tire. Take her out of the equation.

Baste your own jewels.